Help With The Emotional Stress of Divorce

A divorce is traumatic for the spouses involved or their children. A divorce is one of the most stressful situations any of us can experience in our life. If you are involved in a divorce do not try to do it alone. Look for a support group or counselor to help you and your children deal constructively with the stress of divorce. Trying to tough it out alone is not recommended. Join a divorce support group in North Carolina or engage a private counselor to advise you as you go through the divorce.

A professional counselor or support group can help you work through the feelings of shame, guilt, and uncertainty and manage the pain of loss often associated with a divorce.

A failed marriage is difficult because it brings with it not just the emotional toll of ending a relationship with a spouse but often involves complicated emotional conflicts for the children of the marriage. Helping the children of a divorce is a complex task and the parents will benefit from a professional counselor’s advice.

The spouses are dealing with their own personal emotional, financial and legal issues. A neutral counseling professional will provide a stable anchor for the children as they navigate the impact of their parents’ divorce on their and their parents’ lives. A divorce, even if amicable, will result in dramatic changes in the lives of all involved and change is always difficult.

Importance of Help to Deal with Spousal Divorce Stress

Divorce by definition will require lots of changes in your life. The changes can include a new home, a new job and definitely a new lifestyle as a single person without the emotional and financial support of your spouse.

No matter how difficult your marriage has become the changes that are involved with ending the relationship are not easy. In many cases there are financial challenges but those are often not as complicated as the emotional challenges faced by those going through a divorce.

The stress of dealing with your own grief and the pain of losses sustained as a result of a divorce are much easier if you have nonjudgmental, unbiased colleagues in a support group or experienced divorce counseling professional to provide you with advice and emotional support. You may find divorce support in the form of a priest or minister, a divorce support group or a private psychiatrist or psychologist. A divorce support group or counseling can offer knowledgeable emotional and practical support as you go through the legal process of the divorce, the loss of your relationship with your spouse and relationships with extended family members and mutual friends. This support is also important after the divorce as you begin to reassemble your financial and emotional life.

Importance of Help to Deal with Divorce Stress for Children of Divorce

Counseling will assist children, who often blame themselves for their parents’ divorce, in understanding they are not at fault. It is important children understand they are not to blame for their parents’ divorce. A knowledgeable professional can help the children understand the dissolution of their parents’ marriage is not something they could have done something to prevent or change and reassure them that life will go on after the divorce and that their parents will continue to care for and love them. A good family counselor can help the entire family during the divorce process and with the transitions that will inevitably follow.

As a parent dealing with the guilt and emotions of a failed marriage is difficult enough but helping your children understand and accept a divorce is even more difficult. An experienced professional can help you tell your children about the divorce and explain how their lives will and will not change after the divorce. A professional will assist you in the development of a strategy about when and what to tell your children about a pending divorce. They will help you to determine what aspects of the divorce are appropriate to share with your children and what is better left out of the discussions with your children. An experienced professional will help you to determine what your children are able to comprehend and deal with and which topics are more appropriately left for adult discussions and need not be shared with your children. We all understand the messages that we want our children to come away from a discussion of divorce with:
• The divorce is not your fault
• Your parents will both still be your parents and will both continue to love you
• The divorce will cause changes in your life but you will remain safe and everything will work out for the best

A professional can help you develop a plan for delivering that positive message to your children in the best way possible.

How to Find Experienced Divorce Counselors and Support Groups

You can ask your divorce attorney or friends and colleagues for divorce counselors or support group references. Getting a firsthand reference from someone you know and trust is always reassuring. You can also go to one of the many professional directories or divorce support websites on the internet. Most allow you to search by professional expertise and zip code to find the right counselor or support group to meet your particular needs. You can also call you health insurance provider to get a list of the providers in your network.

Many professionals will give you an introductory appointment to make sure you are comfortable with their approach to helping you and your children deal with the stress of a divorce. For the children’s sake, it is usually ideal if both parents and the children are all working together with the same professional but if your spouse is not interested in participating in counseling it is better to get counseling for you and your children than not to even if you must enter into the counseling without your spouse.

Check with your insurance company as some policies will assist with the cost of counseling. There are also not-for-profit and government sponsored programs which will assist those who cannot afford a private counselor.

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